It’s the height of wedding season, which means all the unwed ladies have stars in their eyes and are starting to leave engagement ring advertisements littered around the house as less-than-subtle hints to their men.

If you aren’t aware of the destruction and death caused by the diamond industry by now, you must have been living under a rock. Ever since Blood Diamond became such a talking point, society has become more and more aware of the deadly trail that the industry leaves behind. Striking these gems is a death sentence for small nations, with civil war, slavery and gang violence ripping apart lives.

It’s no secret, so why on earth do people insist on buying these gemstones? Marilyn Monroe may have proclaimed that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend”, but wouldn’t you host an intervention if your best friend was doing harm to others?

It’s a debate that has been played out ad nauseum, so I will only say this: given the information you have about diamond trade, why do you insist on diamond studs for your birthday, and why won’t you settle for anything less than a diamond engagement ring?

It comes down to this: we look at the shocking images and read the terrifying stories of these people and sadly declare that the problem is too big. It is not too big. This is one of those issues where the trite “change starts at home” concept applies 100%.

We bought my engagement ring without knowing the problems of diamonds. As much as I love my ring, I would never, ever buy it again if I could go back. Lab-grown diamonds are absolutely perfect, and the abundance of precious, colored stones means we should have more environmentally friendly options open to us, so the insistence on buying diamonds that may have cost lives is purely desire driven.

I’ll add to that the fact that I find clear diamonds completely boring. Wow, you found a stone with no discernible qualities beyond the fact that it’s clear. Congratulations. Does clear water impress you too? The only reason people want them is because we’ve been told for years and years that this is what we should want. They’re not particularly rare, they have no interesting characteristics beyond their hardness level, and the high prices are completely manufactured.

Stop following the herd, find a stone that speaks to your character and help end the atrocities. Find jewelers who refuse to carry natural diamonds and buy from war-free zones. Accept that there is chemically no difference between the lab-grown and the real, and tell your boyfriend that you’d rather a ring in sapphire or topaz that doesn’t carry the same history of blood-shed.

Here endeth the rant.

Now, go and find earrings with no diamonds, that are all the prettier for it.

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